Confidence Is Never Permanent

It’s a constant struggle

We often have this illusion that confident people are always like that. You see it in the way they handle themselves, the way they talk, the way they smile, how much people like them and want to be around them. It just all seems easy to them.

“Sure, they’re physically attractive, people naturally like them” you say.

Yeah, you’re right, that’s part of it. I won’t bullshit you. We like attractive people, it’s in our biology.

However, and that’s a BIG however, you’re misguided if you think that they’re always confident just because they’re attractive. In fact, If you get to know some of them closer, you’d find out that they have a lot more insecurities than it seems at first glance.

Why?

Well, first of all, their attractiveness — albeit giving them an advantage in our society — is really just a normal part of who they are, they’re used to it, and the way the human mind works most of the time is that it seeks negatives and dangers in its immediate environment — it is pure biological behavior inherited from our pre-historic ancestors.

Our nervous system has been evolving for 600 million years, from ancient jellyfish to modern humans. Our ancestors had to make critical decisions: like approach a reward or avoid a hazard — hunt for food or hide from predators.

But there’s a key difference between these choices: if they missed the food, they could survive for a while, but if the predators ate them, well then…they became food.

Because of that your body generally reacts more intensely to negative stimuli than to equally strong positive ones. That’s part of the reason why we’re so obsessed with sensationalist and negative news, it’s a low-hanging fruit, it feeds on our instinct of self-preservation.

So what does this mean for normal social interactions?

It means that all of us are aware of our insecurities and have specific fears about being perceived a certain way in social…

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