Midlife Crisis or Midlife Awakening My 8 top tips to navigate through the transition

The psychologist Carl Jung first identified Midlife Crisis as a regular part of the maturing process. Most people will experience some form of emotional change during that time of their life. A transition that might cause you to take stock of where you are in life, and make some needed adjustments, to the way to live your life.

Before I give you my 8 top tips, I must emphasise that the word crisis is drummed into our psyche and we can quickly view changes in our day to day circumstances as ‘crisis’. Looking back at my own life, Instead, of calling it a crisis, now I say awakening or growing.

The transition process cannot be taken lightly. It is instead a serious matter and needs careful attention. Sadly, it can also end in disaster to the point of self-harm or even suicide causing immense grief and possibly displacement of the loved ones left behind.

A midlife crisis is often jokingly used as a way to describe a man or woman exploring changes in their life where they end up doing stereotypical things. For men, these can be behaviour changes such as buying a red sports car or having an affair with a younger woman. There is a long list of behaviours that appear to look odd and very sudden for both sexes.

These things can happen anytime when people begin to feel a sense of dissatisfaction. Psychologists and experts have identified the tale-tell signs, and it is a long list.

Reflecting on my youth years, I believe I was experiencing a crisis throughout my life.

At the age of 15, which was the midpoint of 30, I was thinking, what am I going to do with life? At least my dad asked me that question, what do you want to do when you finish school? I didn’t have a clue. I was not so keen on studying and never obtained a university degree.

I married when I was 28, and a few years later, when children came along, this was a huge dramatic change in my life, and the level of my responsibilities changed. It was mid-point to 56.

In my 30’s and 40’s, I was showing signs again of restlessness, and a barrage of questions was flooding my mind at various stages such as:

· What am I doing?

· Am I stuck in this job for the rest of my life, especially when I don’t enjoy it?

· What should I be doing next?

· How can I earn more money?

I knew I needed money and lots of money to fulfil my dreams. But I didn’t have the money. My thoughts were around earning more money, but instead, I steadily got more into debt.

During this questioning process, I also lost my beloved parents and other loved ones in the family. Being the oldest son in the family, a husband and dad, I felt I was responsible for the things that were going wrong.

Even though I didn’t have the answers to those challenges, inwardly I was blaming myself, and I could go on and on about my thoughts and how I felt. You could liken it to falling without a safety net or sliding down a greased pole until you hit rock bottom. I lost almost everything I cared for, including to the point of ending my life.

I know that reading this sounds like doom and gloom but take hope, there is a light at the end of a dark tunnel and the dark stormy clouds will pass. The sun is always shining behind those clouds even though you may not see it.

Your scenario might be different from mine. Nevertheless, it is your scenario, and it and you can address it at the outset.

It’s easy for me to say this now, however, If you are reading this article, perhaps you are experiencing a crossroad in your life. Maybe you are contemplating making decisions you are not entirely sure of and how and where it could lead. Perhaps you are in the thick of it now and looking for a way out so that you can get back on track with your life.

Next year I will be hitting the big 60, but I aim to hit a century and maybe beyond. I am preparing my mind as the journey continues. Could I experience a crisis? Who knows?

A new revelation, taking my game to the next level, eating well, getting healthier, being more kind to people, being thankful for all that I have and not moan, grumble, and complain about the things I don’t have. Do you get the point?

Men may go through a ‘teenage-like rebellion’ at a certain point in their lives, says Boston psychologist Lynn Margolies, PhD. A midlife crisis can lead to ‘growth or destruction’ for men says Margolies. You can look for the causes of the unhappiness you feel, then make thoughtful decisions to address them. That’s growth.

On the other hand, making impulsive decisions, like trading in your everyday life for a relationship with a younger partner that quickly ends or buying a car you can’t afford. These sudden changes can leave you feeling unsettled.

1. Be thankful for the things you already have.

2. Talk it over.

3. Be prepared to listen.

4. Be aware of the subliminal and insidious influences.

5. Remember, feelings are not commands.

6. Ask whether your wishes are realistic.

7. Work towards your dreams and goals diligently.

8. Avoid unsettling your loved ones.

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