MANNERS AND MOM

I recently read an article in the Sunday paper’s Tourism and Travel section about where the rudest people in America come from when it comes to dining out. New England was in the top ten, even beating out New York. That surprised me. When I lived on Cape Cod, we always thought New York and New Jersey topped us in that department and both led the list for rude behavior while driving.

But the article did give me pause. I am now officially a senior citizen and that term alone carries the distinction of growing grumpy. The very word “curmudgeon” brings to mind Mr. Magoo of the comic strips or Archie Bunker of TV fame. I haven’t yelled out the window at the neighborhood kids, “Get off my lawn!” lately, but that could be because I have recently moved to an apartment complex. But I have become more aware of other people’s rudeness. I’ll share with you some of the behaviors of others that are now getting on my last nerve:

· People who yak on their cell phones in public places. It’s annoying and I really don’t want to know their business.

· People who rattle candy wrappers, chew loud or answer their cell phones at the movies.

· Very tall people or women with big hair taking the seat in front of me at the movies or the theater.

· Little kids crying or squealing in church.

· Dog owners who do not pick up their pet’s poop.

· Men who constantly interrupt women when they are talking. (Joe Scarborough does this to Mika Brzezinski every morning on Morning Joe and she still wants to marry him.)

· Men who feel they must mansplain stuff to women.

· Dirty motel rooms. (Grit on the floor, socks left under the bed.)

· Waiters and waitresses who start clearing the table before we are done eating.

· Clerks who ignore you while yakking with other employees about their upcoming break instead of waiting on you.

· Hairdressers who scrub your scalp so vigorously that it hurts.

· Manicurists who are too engrossed in their work to greet you or to smile.

· People who block the aisles, run into my ankle with their shopping cart or check out two dozen items in the express lane at the supermarket

· The people who live upstairs from me who make so much noise that I think they might have opened a bowling alley up there.

· People who tailgate so closely that I want to stop and ask them, “Would you rather ride inside my trunk?”

· People with poor table manners. No one should reach over the table or shove their armpit into your face while reaching for something. Also, slurping, lip smacking or chewing with your mouth open are disgusting and gross.

In my opinion, people from New England probably don’t mean to be rude. They are just in a hurry doing whatever they are doing and want to get straight to the point. For instance, when we say “How are you doing?”, it’s simply a greeting. If we really wanted to know, we’d stop and talk to you.

Lately when I voice my opinions about the things that bother me, my grown children don’t respond. They just grimace and shake their heads. Sometimes they tell me to calm down. Behind my back, I have even heard them refer to me as “Mrs. Magoo.”

It makes me think of something we used to say back in high school when somebody’s idea of a joke fell flat. “That’s so funny I forgot to laugh.”

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