Perspective

What do you see in this image? Death? Last summer’s lavender destroyed by winter? (The latter is closer but still wrong.)

When enough snow finally melts that I can see the soil, I can also see the new growth that’s coming. In these dry, cold branches, I see the healthy root system that lies beneath. In the weedy soil that just reappeared along the edges of the walk, I see the yards of succulent green that will tower above the ground in a few months, bearing tomatoes of all colors and sizes and, if we’re lucky, sweet and hot peppers of many shapes.

These visions come from experience. The past teaches us what to expect from the future and brings it close enough to smell. So, when we’ve had hard times, disappointments, abuse, we train our eye to watch for the same. Maybe we expect nothing better. Thus, for the first few years I was with Papabear, I failed to trust him. But he was faithful, steadfast– anything you want to say that means he never wavered in his strong support and expectation that I would someday learn to fold into his strength and rest.

It is his unwavering love that taught me to believe in spring again. My learning took years, slowed by the hardness of a long, desperate winter. But now I see new growth whenever I look at dry branches. And we live happily ever after.

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