The First Time Ever I Creamed My Jeans

Are you ready to read the most embarrassing thing I’ve written about myself since I started this gig? I‘d be sulking in my bedroom until I’d hear the theme music for “Monday Night Football with…

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The Geniuses of May

Taking the trouble from Jane’s eyes

Michael Putland/Getty Images

There is probably no song in Leonard Cohen’s portfolio that is more studied and least understood than his Famous Blue Raincoat.

So why add to the glut?

Oh … It’s you. Well, because the song is hauntingly enigmatic — that’s why. It begs to be cracked open and have its mysteries ooze out.

But why you? What makes you the oozer-out of its mysteries?

Fuck off!

Ah-ha! No, but wait! It’s not like Leonard Cohen played his life as a poker hand, held close to the vest. No, it was the 60s, 70s, and 80s Rock ’n Roll. Nothing was sacred back then. How about Chelsea Hotel?

Well, there’s that. Yeah. Chelsea.

Sure. Leonard lived in 424, Janis Joplin in 411. He met her in an elevator there. She told him she was looking for Kris Kristofferson. ‘I am Kris Kristofferson,’ Leonard said. Then he wrote about Janis in his song, Chelsea Hotel.

Oh, Janis was one of them. Leonard had his flings, his love affairs; it’s unclear whether he was ever married; still, he fathered two children, a boy, and a girl.

My point. Sex. Drugs. Rock ’n Roll, baby!

Then, out of that bacchanalia of self-absorption, there emerged a woman he called Jane, and a man, identified only as “my brother, my killer.” And it’s a subtly different Leonard Cohen we see from the rest. Somber. Reflective. Brutal in his self-honesty.

And … oh! yes, yes, yes, that brings us right back to …

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